i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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