i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The feeling are messing with the penis
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
