Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
