Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
