you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So gin and wine won't be happening again
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
