So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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