Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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