I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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