its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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