facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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