if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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