So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
