i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
