Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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