I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
