Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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