Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
