Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
