She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
