My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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