im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We have started to decorate penises.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
