I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
