plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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