Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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