I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
