Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize