How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
