ugly people sure do ruin things
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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