gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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