Non-Jews are for practice
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
