I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
