we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
