At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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