please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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