Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I could make wine with my vomit
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
