Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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