how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
