What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
