butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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