Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
