Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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