its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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