so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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