I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
