If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize