I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
