I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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