"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
