Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
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He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
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Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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