He told me they were just razor bumps!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
