The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
