so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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