I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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