Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
